i want to clarify that I do not feel guilty. I do not feel that I am responsible for his actions. I just feel regret that I didn't get to talk to him one more time. It's just a selfish need for connection. Beleive me I know that I could not have done anything for him. I realized that many years ago.
This is a relief in many ways. They say that suicide many times is. He will be at peace soon. The past 16 years have been extra as far as I'm concerned. In 1991 he attempted a murder/suicide. That's what he went to prison for. Once that happened I figured that someday he really would do it. It was just a matter of time.
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Dani my thoughts and prayers are with you and your brother tonite. I pray that he goes quickly and peacefully and that finally his spirit finds rest.
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