Thursday, October 27, 2005

Birthing From Within Rocks!

I just got home from my childbirth class. Most people think it's strange that I have an 18 month old and am going to a childbirth class. But even though I have a son and went through pregnancy I never gave birth. That experience was stolen from me.

I go through these classes and try to be quiet. I know a lot of what's being taught from my research. I'm there for the pain coping techniques and the emotional work.

Tonight HunnyBunny cried. We were asked what we were afraid of in birth. What was the one thing that is bothering us. His was, initially, a fear of me having to go to the hospital and losing control of the situation. But as the instructor was guiding us through a meditation on it his fear changed or rather grew. It went from me having to have another c-section to me dying on the table. His greatest fear was losing me. He had this whole emotional breakthrough in class.

What I really like about the class is that most things would only take you that far. Her next step was to take us past that moment. Ok. We survived our worst fear, what now? How do you deal? She had us picture what we were doing to deal with the situation. I've never done that before. As much as I worry I always hit that wall of what if. I've never peaked around the corner to see what's on the other side. Why didn't I think of that? That simple exercise evaporated the fear that I had. Now I can see myself, happy, on the other side so it doesn't matter.

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Happy Birthday to me!

So I'm not great at posting to this yet. I'll get there. Today is my birthday. I usually don't make that big of a deal out of it. Today I am just relaxing with Monkey. We went out for lunch and stepped in every puddle on the way back home. We had a blast!

10 years ago today I was fasting. I was preparing to join the Air Force. On Nov 1st I had a physical that I had to pass and I was trying to lose that last couple of pounds. Ugh! The things I did to my body in order to join the military. What's funny is that I didn't even want to join. My Dad wanted me to and I didn't want to let him down. I glad that I did it now. I wouldn't have HunnyBunny or Monkey if I hadn't.

19 just doesn't seem that far away in my head. But when I think of the lives I have lived since then it seems light years away. I have been an airman, a professional, a wife, a mother and more. I barely remember that girl. I wonder who I will be 10 years from now?

Sunday, October 16, 2005

Happy Anniversary

Wow, this is my first post! Yippee!

Yesterday was my 7th wedding anniversary. I can't beleive that I've been married that long. Did we do something horribly romantic? Nope. That is so not us.

We went to Pumpkin Days at the Tyler Arboretum with our son. We danced to bad music and played with pumkins. Monkey, our son, got to dance in bubbles for hours. Everytime we passed the bubble machine we had to stop for 15 minutes to play with bubbles. HunnyBunny sprained his ankle on the hayride but he's feeling a little better today. Later we went to the mall and bought me a new pair of maternity pants. Then home. For dinner we had an anniversary pizza. No fancy-smancy dinners for us. All in all it was a good day.

HunnyBunny and I have always liked to keep it simple. We try not to let the big days pass unnoticed but we don't go out of our way to celebrate them. I find it keeps me saner.