Birthing From Within Rocks!

I just got home from my childbirth class. Most people think it's strange that I have an 18 month old and am going to a childbirth class. But even though I have a son and went through pregnancy I never gave birth. That experience was stolen from me.

I go through these classes and try to be quiet. I know a lot of what's being taught from my research. I'm there for the pain coping techniques and the emotional work.

Tonight HunnyBunny cried. We were asked what we were afraid of in birth. What was the one thing that is bothering us. His was, initially, a fear of me having to go to the hospital and losing control of the situation. But as the instructor was guiding us through a meditation on it his fear changed or rather grew. It went from me having to have another c-section to me dying on the table. His greatest fear was losing me. He had this whole emotional breakthrough in class.

What I really like about the class is that most things would only take you that far. Her next step was to take us past that moment. Ok. We survived our worst fear, what now? How do you deal? She had us picture what we were doing to deal with the situation. I've never done that before. As much as I worry I always hit that wall of what if. I've never peaked around the corner to see what's on the other side. Why didn't I think of that? That simple exercise evaporated the fear that I had. Now I can see myself, happy, on the other side so it doesn't matter.